The Poetry of Tadami Yamada (English edit. -3)
Hahahahaha
Hahahhahaha Hahahahaha
I was laughing all day today
Because that's also strange
Other 's also funny stupidity
Hahahahaha laughed laughed
Laughed laughed hahahahaha
Hahahhahaha Hahahahaha
Laughing even if every little thing
Laughing because I around the age
That's rotten, this also, vulgar that all
But I've lived in Japan like that cage
I saw enough, enough that of all
Hahahhahaha Hahahahaha
Laughing, laughing throughout a day
Laughing, laughing and I'm going to die
Rather than sinking in a swamp someday
Let's return to the element, to the dust
In the cosmos, my life, only laughing
Hahahhahaha Hahahahaha Hahahhahaha Hahahahaha
Coming Along to the Field (Prose poem)
It was july 1965.
In the evening, I came along to the field alone pushing a bicycle.
It looked like the rain. The mountains beyond laied in haze. The wind was blowing a little. Poplar trees fluttering leaves looked like weeping in the distance.
I picked up some pebbles, threw them over ones and twos. Those fell dozens meters away, scattered dry, hard, short trailing notes.
Evening primrose, Eritrean, Plantain, Polygon, Chenopod,
---these were wild flowers in there.
Someone died that day. My lover.
I couldn't realize it, so I was crying there.
The dead person's gentle voice was calling to my mind, went on to hail me. The landscapes were then gradually gathering the night's shades, and a stone in my hand was sinking down into deep shadoes. I thought the tomorrow morning would be cold but brilliant.
The morning would always be a grave post, although it would be sad, yet it would certainly be a brilliant grave post of a day. This imagination drilled my heart and body., made me dry sands which resembled to procession of the funeral dotting with dull color like ant's row. My dry sandy mind and body would scatter to the winds over mountains along the tomorrow dawn.
One of poplar trees trembling in the wind vanished from my view. The mountains vanished too.
Evening primroses bloomed then, opening their petals clumsy. Nevertheless there's not the moon that night. Would flowered evening primroses hold mist tight in the dark?
My thought was:
"Death may come at any hour. Fata viam invenient.
Why am I crying? Death is the same as life in the macrocosm, I know well. But why do I feel sorrow dropping tears in silence?"
I was standing, to be enveloped with mist, and to lose the landscapes of surroundings. I thought that these things would become to my memory, and would grew on the walls of my mind like mosses, and which would draw me into past in sometimes.
When I die, the moss of memory would grew with blue color in my grave unknown other people. So I would see again my lover who died, peeling blue mosses one by one, I would exchanged pleasant chats with her about us no human beings without saying the word you and I.
In the yellow floweres garden where I dreamed before, I would be at my own sweet would pleasure.
Coming along to the field, I was thinking till when. It was july 1965. I was twenty.
(Aug, 1965)
The Death of My Mother
After three and half years struggle against a disease
my mother rested at 10 a.m., 30th march, 2012
at the age of ninety two and nine months
The stream of time goes swift
It's been seven days since the day
The 28th, early morning, her physical condition
suddenly changed in bad
She given medical treatment by the family doctor
who hurried to my house, and escaped a crisis
The next day, the 29th, it was going on
the schedule for nursing with me
7:40 a.m.
Temperature was 36.9℃
Blood pressure and Pulse; (the first)124 over 67. 82/m.,
(the second)124 over 69. 78/m., (the third)122 over 68. 83/m.,
8:20 a.m.
Injected the prescription nutrient liquid 100ml and
water 100ml in to her nose through a plastic tube
10:25 a.m.
Injected several mixed medicines and water 60ml
in to her nose through a plastic tube
11:40 a.m.
The family doctor came my house for treatment
Temperature was 37.1℃
Blood pressure was 112 over 76
Pulse was 95/m
ST Oxygen was 99% (by Oxygen inhaler 3.5l/h)
0:00 p.m.
Changed the liquid for IVH
(a intravenous drip injection from her neck)
2:10 p.m.
Injected the prescription nutrient liquid 100ml and
water 100ml in to her nose through a plastic tube
8:00 p.m.
Absorbed phlegm
8:30 p.m.
Injected the prescription nutrient liquid 100ml and
water 100ml in to her nose through a plastic tube
9:45 p.m.
Injected several mixed medicines and water 60ml
in to her nose through a plastic tube
10:40 p.m.
Her right thumb fell into a fit of convulsions.
Instantly, I call the doctor, and then absorbed phlegm.
Temperature was 35.8℃
Blood pressure was 124 over 63
Pulse was 91/m
11:16 p.m.
The family doctor arrived.
Temperature was 36.1℃
Blood pressure was 146 over 73
Pulse was 92/m
ST Oxygen was 99% (by Oxygen inhaler 4l/h)
11:45 p.m.
The doctor absorbed phlegm,
but secretions and urine were very small.
The doctor said that the inside mouth
and the tracheas dry up, and injected her medicines.
Taking the medicine alleviated her conditions.
Pulse was 99/m
ST Oxygen was 100% (by Oxygen inhaler 4l/h)
30th March
0:05 a.m.
The doctor went back to his home.
0:10 a.m.
Amount of urine a day were 600ml.
Amount of waste fluid a day were 75ml.
(Amount of all ingested water of the day were 1,750ml)
0:15 a.m.
Following the doctor's instruction
injected 150ml water for athlete
After that, I checked the diary of nursing
and began to prepare my bed for a nap
beside my mother's ill bed
And I happened to look back to her
She seemed to stop breathing.
Instantly I listened the sound of her lungs
Never!
I listened the sound of her heart
Never!
I pushed her heart, pushed, pushed-----
I call the doctor, "her heart stopped, now" said,
back to her, pushed her heart again and again
Her heart was stopping, never moved
Never!
The doctor arrived,
and he pushed her heart in place of me
Never alive
I call my younger brothers,
said that our mother died now
"At 1:25 a.m., she died of decrepitude "
said the doctor, "I regret her death"
"I greatly appreciate your kindness" I said.
He call the trained nurse of my family,
And he took off several tubes from the body.
I purified her body.
About 2:00 a.m., The nurse arrived.
The doctor, the nurse and I changed her clothes
for her last journey.
I'm undecided about what to put on her for a while.
My mother always dressed Japanese traditional clothes "kimono"
So I took dozens of "kimono" from her double chest of drawers
disregarding the doctor and the nurse's astonishment
A set of "kimono" which I decided was-----
an exclusive pongee which was woven of
black, deep green and golden silk threads
with a complicated pattern of bamboo hedges, and
the sushi "obi" which was woven of silver pink and golden silk threads
like the sky of spring's dawn in which a golden cloud threads its way,
and a crested half coat "haori" was black figured satin
which was embroidered the family crest and figures of bamboo leaves in gold,
and Japanese-style socks "tabi" in white.
2:30 a.m.
My mother changed her appearance for her last journey,
The doctor went back to the hospital to write the death certificate
The nurse went back too, leaving a few word
I call a funeral parlor to ask dry ice to bring my house
About 3:00 a.m.
My younger brother's family arrived
The funeral parlor arrived,
and made previous arrangements on funeral rites
5:00 a.m.
After my younger brother's family went back their home,
I was alone.
I brought a sketchbook from my studio,
made a sketch of the death mask of my mother
(Sep. 26, 2012)
Northern White Rhinoceros!
Northern White Rhinoceros!
I think the loneliness of you
Now on this earth
It has become only five
The loneliness of you
Northern White Rhinoceros!
I think the beautiful tusks of you
To order does deprived of your tusks
Our human conducted our
That it was doing as much of slaughter
Northern White Rhinoceros!
You good to despise our human glory
And stupidity of us that does not extend understand
The meaning of the loss of life Cycles
Leave a not be atoned life of you
Northern White Rhinoceros!
What billion times cry of death throes of you
And our human even listen to ear
Conducted our did not imagine
For the species of sorrow to extinction from the ground
Northern White Rhinoceros!
Splashes of Some of blood
I think the eye of the end of you
In which eternal star blink is
And that the disappearing
Northern White Rhinoceros!
You like that now became the only five
Not to come across each other
Earth was much wider
To the extent that the howl of you such as unexpected reach
Northern White Rhinoceros! Such sorrow of you
Let's at least spread in my chest
As the night of city to cover an old whore's heart
As dense fog of late autumn fill the harbor of North
As winter storm across the bamboo forest of Adashino
As thick ice to cover the ground of Siberia
As dry sand wash away the lake of Rob Roy
Like the rain of Cherrapunji that falls after day after day
Like sunset of far sea, as sink to the ends of the earth
Northern White Rhinoceros! The anger of you
Let's at least carve in my chest
As the Tri-states USA tornado
As the huge hail that hit the Nebraska
As the lava flow of Besubiosu volcano
Like the black clutches of the East Japan Tsunami
As the earthquake that destroyed Shaanxi China
As the Bangladesh cyclone
In my chest the anger of you, as its deep Traces
Northern White Rhinoceros!
In 46 billion years of Earth history
Again and again the alternation of generations life
You repeated that I do not know
But now I repent our human sinfulness
That we drove you to extinction
While count days of until our extinction
(A pr. 15, 2015)
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